money

So Last summer I did a repeat of the summer before it, making money in Seoul, Korea, doing shit when I shoulda been doin some other shit--working at a hagwon, teaching english, trying to mix in my love for teaching with the culture of a educational system gone to hell. but that's for another day, maybe some poem.

what i realized just now, while listening to a recording of myself spitting a song i wrote last summer, was that meaning sometimes surfaces when you least expect it. it isn't entombed in some great book for someone to finally dig it up... it's after the expidition, it's after everything's happened already. it's kinda like what christians say about god, they say, be ready, cuz you never know.

What if you suddenly one day realized that your life has been way more valuable and meaningful than you thought. what do you do then? are you ready for this revelation? hold on to this. grip it tight and make it your sword.

cuz a lot of the time I feel bogged down by heavy realities that are elusive to me--elusive, because I have yet to make it a part of my life, out of fear, most likely. either way, i played this song today, blasted it juxtaposed to a kanye west song where he said about before he had a record deal, before he was a hot shot, he'd blast his demo tape in a car and almost feel signed. i played this song, meaning surfaced:

i was working last summer, and i was writing, and the written word spoken was remindin' me of what was keepin me alive, doing shit i wasn't supposed to be doin, despite all that, i was alive because I was blessed with not simply song, or rhyme, or beats, or word, but i was blessed with love to strike the steel while it oranged in the steamy black depths of hell. it was one of the most soulful things i had ever written. in the grind. keep up the good work, peoples. fight the good fight. kick ass, take names.

mad love,
sol