I woke up this morning feeling worse than I have in a long time. I sort of over did it on the weekend, and despite a pleasant evening last night (a long walk and a good book before sleeping), the first thing I felt this morning was defeat. It makes me think: restraint is necessary. Overindulgence leads to wasted energy. Save your strength.
To save is to save for something.
It's very difficult for me to think forward, and in fact I wouldn't say I'm stuck in the past either. So I suppose I live in the moment, except not in the sense that I cherish every waking second of my life. I simply live here, and lately, am a little stuck here.
That's why it's weird when I told my co-worker today that my dad writes a blog, but he doesn't show it to me, and occasionally talks about how nice it is that he'll have something to leave behind when he passes away.
This makes me envision myself spending countless nights pouring over a Korean/English Dictionary, and my father's words. This makes me feel the expanding of time, from here to there. This makes me feel anxious, wondering what my father's written thoughts are like.
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