Evening Thoughts: much thanks to Jose and Josh

And I quote my friend Jose, on the "working world"--

"But I want the World to judge me, and so I got to do something that matters to the World."

Brave and sturdy words, he spoke. We sat down for dinner for the first time after months of not speaking, simply coming and going from our shared apartment, caught up in the emotional, physical, and spiritual grind of work, life, reality. We sat down tonight and realized there is a strand of common experience connecting us, and that this strand is essential, crucial, and that it is necessary to nurture and nourish this strand, so it becomes many strands, a thick rope, a bridge, an isthmus. The task is individual, yet everything about it is connecting and shared.

My other roommate, Josh, and I have been spending more time together. We've been talking a lot about where we are and where we would like to go. We've also had some serious discussions that have led to disagreements and exchanges of strong words. But Josh and I are also sharing an experience, one where the same essential ingredients are playing their pivotal roles in each of our lives; I see the importance of writing, routine, and most of all, I see the importance of acknowledging each others struggles, saying, I see you, and I see how far you have come, and I believe in where you are going.

Jose also said, happiness is not something you can have, not something you can grab and own. It is something you must maintain, it is a state of being: it is seeing where you are now, here, and it is at the same time believing you will someday be somewhere else, there. I said happiness is overrated and we agreed, perhaps because we both knew the word was too loaded, and at the same time too light, to encapsulate what it is we're all trying to become.

And so, perhaps, patience, discipline, and motivation are simply words to describe a much more complex vision we have in store for our futures. Perhaps in shedding these jangling terms, which for so long have been like tiny stone figures I gave offering to, there can be a silence like none the world has ever heard.