Hey!

Far from figuring out what makes my life work, I am constantly baffled by the challenges that lie before me.

Honest.

The biggest blocks in my heart and mind preventing me from feeling at ease with myself and the world are huge and complicated, inexplicable and probably impossible to solve or change.

Oooh, suddenly that self-help book I half-way read is coming back to me: "Recognize what you can change, and what you cannot." Wise words, my friend. Funny how some generic advice can gel with personal experience... I've always believed in the universality of human experience, but also the uniqueness of individual expression. Self help book, meet Sol Park?

Anyway, my point was to explain to you, reader, that the main struggles in my life are massive and living complexities that no one could possibly hope to explain to me or resolve for me. And it isn't even that the challenges before me are unchangeable, necessarily, just that there are too many of them, and they are too large, for me to possible face them all.

Of course, they face me. They face me no matter where I turn.

I think those ads are funny, the ones that go, "Are you overweight? Depressed? Funny feeling in your stomach? Then we've got the product for you!" I think that if you took out the punchline, then it might actually be more valuable.

Do you feel you have potential for great things?
Do you feel you'll never reach that potential?
Maybe you feel it's too late.
Maybe you're fooling yourself and in actuality
you're nothing but a average person.
Maybe feeling like a normal person feels also like defeat?
Maybe all your life you've been lead to believe
that special is the way to be.
Is there no where you can turn to, to find a different perspective?
Can you not speak to anyone?
Are you alone?
Are other people just assholes?
Does no one see what you see?
Is everyone else pretty much blind,
in search of trivial things,
superficial?

Okay. I Understand.