Ten Minute Break: Other

Hey, it's been a while.

More thoughts on Otherness: Growing up, since middle school even, I've always looked to other people as models of how to-be. Otherness has come natural to me, for whatever reasons. Sometimes it has been oppressive. By looking at some other person as a reference point for self creation can be self destructive if in fact that other person is really a definition of what you are not, and what you are.

Sometimes otherness has proven liberating. It can be as simple as seeing an Asian face on a magazine cover or a movie--an Asian face that is not a martial artist, a computer nerd, or a foreigner, but someone who transcends these definitions and adds layers to the thick skin that goes deep to the bone. This kind of otherness is the best. It collapses otherness on itself. It points the flashlight of identity to find that the entire room can be lit.

Of course, some people tend to say we are all the same. We are all each others keepers. I believe this is a valid sentiment, but it is about something entirely different and separate from the issue of otherness, and not a solution. Sameness is important for empathy and understanding, and can be useful in communicating ideas and feelings. Sameness does not solve otherness, and when sameness is applied to otherness, it merely shows that otherness can be a human experience. I do believe we are all the same, but sometimes empathy without experience, and understanding without knowing, can be just as oppressive as willed ignorance, and forced teaching. Sameness is a way of relating to other people, otherness is a way to relate others to your self.

When you relate the other to yourself, and when you find that this experience expands the definition of what self can be, then otherness will no longer restrict your movements. Suddenly, every new encounter will add to your definitions, and of course, defining will no longer require "not" and "different from" but a string of "and"'s.