It's been a long day, friend

I'm telling you, right now, I feel lost. I feel like I haven't got a friend in the world, and everything I do is to no avail. I breathe because I'm afraid to die. I work because I'm afraid to be lazy. I stay silent because I'm afraid to fight.

I'm teling you, right now, this is a moment where I need your help. This is a moment where I need anyone. I'm desperate for an embrace, but I don't know how to walk the distance from here to the living room. I don't know the language to speak ask for love from my father. I don't have the courage to be creative.

I'm telling you, right now, that I feel stronger than I did a 30 seconds ago. I'm telling you that suddenly I feel a slight surge of strength that has mixed in it some hate, like blood in a bathtub. I'm stronger, now, than I was before.

I'm telling you, right now, that I was lost when I started to write this this blog entry. But I began writing with the full intention of emerging from this fight with nothing less than victory.

I'm telling you, right now, that there is value to this. These words are worth something to me. This page. This voice. As I walk through the valley of life, I fear evil, and see no shephard by me. But I see others. And I'm telling you, right now, that I feel at peace. A kind of peace one feels as they fly across a green field, remembering the many days and nights spent struggling to get up. The bleeding knees. The broken feet. The years it took to stand up. To take a first step. To find intention. Then direction. Then love. Then grace. Now I'm flying.

I'm telling you, right now, this very moment is but one of many, but I started somewhere, and I was honest, and I spoke with a voice I earned, I worked for, I strugled to have.

I'm telling you, because this is much too important to keep to myself.
Simply.